Peace

Amazing I get the results of my tests tomorrow and I am not afraid. Interested yes, fearful no. I have really prayed for the peace that passes all understanding. It really does. I have talked to many people who have said the waiting it the hard part. For me it was the waiting for the surgery to get it out. However, after i am amazed at the relief I do feel. Many people have helped through this time, family and friends alike. I am grateful for their support and words of wisdom they have imparted to me. Those things all combined have helped me get to the point where I am now. Resting in the peace of God, which ya kind of have to do after surgery and all the meds they pump ya with and pain killers after, but just knowing even if it does come back as positive the doctor said he got it. I trust him, and I trust the big Him.
So tomorrow at 10:30 I go in for the post op and get the results and everything and we shall see where that takes me. I am reminded of the book by Robert Frost: The road less traveled. That is what this feels like for me. This whole 16 days since I found it. (most of you know what it is) I have a wide array of emotion from panic, anger, gripping fear, vulnerability, hopelessness, encouragement, frustration, then there was and is the peace, hope, warrior instinct to go into battle if i need to over this, and just incredible love from family and friends. I can't remember a time when I felt that much emotion in such a short period of time. Emotions are not a strong point for me. Yes I am passionate about many things and there are times that when expressed appropriately anger is passion, therefore I am the passionate one. but now..... I will take whatever the answer is from the doctor and forge ahead. All the while knowing that god is driving the bus. And that's a tough one for me because I like to the one behind the wheel, but this time and I am sure every other time as well, He does a better job at it when I am just a passenger....