I have a very good friend. We have been friends for around 15 years. We know things about each other that others do not. We had an argument for 3 day or so until today. Today it's over, and I really believe that together our bond became close.
We were both hurt and expressed it in Emails to each other. However, some of my other friends I may not have felt comfortable enough to express my emotions to them. Her, Lets call her EM. It was really the first "fight" we have ever had on that level. Sure we have had issues along the way but never like this. We are very much alike although in some areas we are so alike it is like a single lightening strike sparking a massive wildfire.
I did not love her any less because of this last incident even in the heat of things. I don't ever see her not being apart of my like. We bring out the best in each other.
However, the wildfire got lite. it spread rampantly and destroyed hundreds of miles of vegetation. But the one thing about wildfires and hard as they are to go through (I know I had to evacuate my house several times in Southern Cali due to them) the devastation they leave behind of lost homes and belongings, all the trees, bushes and basic ground cover, and yes the mud slides that can happen after that during the rainy season. mud slides happen after wildfires because there is no longer anything to slow them down like trees or bushes and such.So the water has a clean path to run rampant. All of the vegetation that gets lost in the fires is actually a good thing. True fact. When those canyons and all areas begin to grow back it really is out with the old and in with the new. It is but one way that mother natures uses to cleanse the landscape and make it better.
That is what happened between EM and I. The issues were cleansed and we can grow together as friends even farther. There may be a few metaphoric mud slides in our future but we will get through those too.
So EM (you know who you are) if you are reading this that is one of your positive thoughts for you day. The past few days have actually been good. the fire just got really hot for a bit.
After all was said and done it was really hard to go through it but we are better for it. Love you EM!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
One way
Oh man, too funny. I saw a story on my local news this morning. A man is going to trial because this summer he got angry because his lawn mover would not start. So he decided to remedy the situation his own way. He went into the house got a sawed off shot gun (which are illegal to begin with.) and proceeded to shoot his mower. He was charged with disorderly conduct and possession of a sawed-off shotgun. If convicted he faces a maximum sentence of 6 ½ years. OK, now I think this is so absurdly funny. I'm thinking I'm glad that God and most of humanity does not dole out the same measures of consequence when we don't do something right or start up the very second we should.
I mean what happens if you are just having a bad day or more tired than normal and just want to sleep in? Someone is going to get mad a pop a cap in ya? I'm telling you just be glad we don't get disciplined in the same way.
That's something to be grateful for. If we did no one would live past 2 years. Human life would have been extinct at the very beginning of it.
Than again, for some people would it be all that bad?
Just kidding.
I mean what happens if you are just having a bad day or more tired than normal and just want to sleep in? Someone is going to get mad a pop a cap in ya? I'm telling you just be glad we don't get disciplined in the same way.
That's something to be grateful for. If we did no one would live past 2 years. Human life would have been extinct at the very beginning of it.
Than again, for some people would it be all that bad?
Just kidding.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Community
I got to thinking today about community. Many people if you ask them what community means they will say the town they live it. Which it is, in part. My generation thinks in those broad terms. After all we are the gen x'ers. The generation that is said to be the most selfish, closed off, not willing to help anyone and everything is theirs. It is my generation that launched millionaires by age 20 and then lost it all years later in what is now dubbed "The dot.comers". Those massive internet companies that grew from someones basement and one computer to massive corporate companies. Sure they earned a lot of money but many of them were also broke 10 - 15 years later.
I don't think I fit in that group. I really enjoy community service. All my education and jobs all hold that basic principal. I mean think about it taking a woman from a predominantly white small midwestern town, to Southern California to work with boys ages 13 - 19 many of which came out of juvenile or adult correctional facility and placed in a group home until they age out of the system at 18. Yeah, that's a good fit right? Most would say no, but I did it and did so with all my heart, and was successful. I did not see color of skin as an issue, or economic class of neighborhood they came from. I saw them as kids that needed something I was there to give it.
I will also say that the moment I would meet them I would let him know that he and I have no past. Here, right now is a fresh start to the rest of their lives to make it work for them or against them, but as they stood there in that moment everything was wiped clean.
Even after moving back to this small midwestern town after almost 8 year but 2 1/2 months before my dad died and now I care for my mother I still find ways to contribute what I can. I myself blew through my own savings in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina I found new and creative ways to raise large amounts of money to not only fund the gas, trailer rental, and other money that was delivered directly to the church we partnered up with in New Orleans proper. I continued to do it against all odds for about 2 years or so after. What a blessing and a lesson all at the same time.
Now if I am going on a relief aid trip whether it be to the western part of my own state WI during the flooding in June that also caused Lake Delton to empty completely out into the river or whatever I go with my motto Please do not call me a hero or even deserving of the thanks the hero's in all of these trips is ALWAYS the people that make it come to fruition. I am just simply the driver. I may coordinate, gather donation, get publicity with trip info a donation spot drop off, and do presentation through films I have put together on the computer or power point with photos, but in the end I really am just the person taking thing from point A to point B. The lime light is for those who gave either time, man power if there were heavy items, and the supplies being collected at the time for that run.
However, I say that to people when I hear comments and they don't believe I really believe that. But I do. I am here on this planet to be of service to others.
Now when I am not up to full par trying to rehab after a rotator cuff surgery on my left shoulder, I looked out of my front windows yesterday morning at the 12 inches of snow that had fallen and tried to figure out how I was going to shovel it when it's too heavy right now and would put me in the position of possible re injuring it again. Oh great I thought to myself. How the heck am I going to do this one. I finally decided I wouldn't do it. My truck has driven through 3 feet of water and barreled through 3 - 3 1/2 feet of snow drifts or piles of slush, snow and ice the plow dumps at the end of our driveway so I figured no worries. I went back downstairs and was watching the morning news reports about the snow when I heard some rumbling on my driveway and footsteps on the front porch. It's too early for mail and too late for the paper, and the doorbell never rang. I go up to find not one but two people with snow blowers clearing the walks and driveway and one more shoveling the front porch, and someone had already cleared it off my truck in the driveway.
Now I will be honest, my first reaction was what the h e double toothpicks are these people doing here they are in the same mess as me except I have a 4 wheel drive Chevy Tahoe and they only have cars. I know this because one of the blowers was our neighbor next to use down the hill the other was from across the street and the shoveler was from our neighbor next to us up the hill. So I laughed and just said to myself God always sends us what we need right when we need it. Last winter if they got to it before I did I would make a huge batch of chili and give those families a nice home cooked hot meal they did not have to do anything for but sit down with the family.
So since I had no current plans to make chili I quickly baked 3 dozen cookies and gave those away.
Now, that is community. People helping others without expectation of compensation. After all Jesus was a carpenter by trade. He went all over and helped anyone who asked for it. He never expected anything monetarily or possessions. All he asked was to love, serve and follow him. And when you do you just may get a pleasant surprise of having your driveway snow blowed.
I guess what I am saying is that it does not take money or things to help others sometimes just giving your time or sharing what ever gift God has given you is all that is required. He will take care of the rest. Yes, it can be that simple if you are willing to step out into the great unknown. Give it a try. You will be amazed at what you really can do. Come on along with me. Life really is the greatest adventure. Come on lets go.......
Oh I don't know if this even makes sense just another tale from the rabbit trail. I am tired and going to go to bed. This is what happens to your brain when your tired.
I don't think I fit in that group. I really enjoy community service. All my education and jobs all hold that basic principal. I mean think about it taking a woman from a predominantly white small midwestern town, to Southern California to work with boys ages 13 - 19 many of which came out of juvenile or adult correctional facility and placed in a group home until they age out of the system at 18. Yeah, that's a good fit right? Most would say no, but I did it and did so with all my heart, and was successful. I did not see color of skin as an issue, or economic class of neighborhood they came from. I saw them as kids that needed something I was there to give it.
I will also say that the moment I would meet them I would let him know that he and I have no past. Here, right now is a fresh start to the rest of their lives to make it work for them or against them, but as they stood there in that moment everything was wiped clean.
Even after moving back to this small midwestern town after almost 8 year but 2 1/2 months before my dad died and now I care for my mother I still find ways to contribute what I can. I myself blew through my own savings in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina I found new and creative ways to raise large amounts of money to not only fund the gas, trailer rental, and other money that was delivered directly to the church we partnered up with in New Orleans proper. I continued to do it against all odds for about 2 years or so after. What a blessing and a lesson all at the same time.
Now if I am going on a relief aid trip whether it be to the western part of my own state WI during the flooding in June that also caused Lake Delton to empty completely out into the river or whatever I go with my motto Please do not call me a hero or even deserving of the thanks the hero's in all of these trips is ALWAYS the people that make it come to fruition. I am just simply the driver. I may coordinate, gather donation, get publicity with trip info a donation spot drop off, and do presentation through films I have put together on the computer or power point with photos, but in the end I really am just the person taking thing from point A to point B. The lime light is for those who gave either time, man power if there were heavy items, and the supplies being collected at the time for that run.
However, I say that to people when I hear comments and they don't believe I really believe that. But I do. I am here on this planet to be of service to others.
Now when I am not up to full par trying to rehab after a rotator cuff surgery on my left shoulder, I looked out of my front windows yesterday morning at the 12 inches of snow that had fallen and tried to figure out how I was going to shovel it when it's too heavy right now and would put me in the position of possible re injuring it again. Oh great I thought to myself. How the heck am I going to do this one. I finally decided I wouldn't do it. My truck has driven through 3 feet of water and barreled through 3 - 3 1/2 feet of snow drifts or piles of slush, snow and ice the plow dumps at the end of our driveway so I figured no worries. I went back downstairs and was watching the morning news reports about the snow when I heard some rumbling on my driveway and footsteps on the front porch. It's too early for mail and too late for the paper, and the doorbell never rang. I go up to find not one but two people with snow blowers clearing the walks and driveway and one more shoveling the front porch, and someone had already cleared it off my truck in the driveway.
Now I will be honest, my first reaction was what the h e double toothpicks are these people doing here they are in the same mess as me except I have a 4 wheel drive Chevy Tahoe and they only have cars. I know this because one of the blowers was our neighbor next to use down the hill the other was from across the street and the shoveler was from our neighbor next to us up the hill. So I laughed and just said to myself God always sends us what we need right when we need it. Last winter if they got to it before I did I would make a huge batch of chili and give those families a nice home cooked hot meal they did not have to do anything for but sit down with the family.
So since I had no current plans to make chili I quickly baked 3 dozen cookies and gave those away.
Now, that is community. People helping others without expectation of compensation. After all Jesus was a carpenter by trade. He went all over and helped anyone who asked for it. He never expected anything monetarily or possessions. All he asked was to love, serve and follow him. And when you do you just may get a pleasant surprise of having your driveway snow blowed.
I guess what I am saying is that it does not take money or things to help others sometimes just giving your time or sharing what ever gift God has given you is all that is required. He will take care of the rest. Yes, it can be that simple if you are willing to step out into the great unknown. Give it a try. You will be amazed at what you really can do. Come on along with me. Life really is the greatest adventure. Come on lets go.......
Oh I don't know if this even makes sense just another tale from the rabbit trail. I am tired and going to go to bed. This is what happens to your brain when your tired.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
To choose or not to choose That is the question!
I think that we are able to choose our emotions to either let them work for us or against us. We choose to live in the light or dark. If you allow anger or the like to govern how we act than does the situation control us? Simply, yes!
Take the example it's 6:00 AM the alarm goes off. You are irritated because you could not fall asleep until 2:30 AM. So you have only really gotten 3 hours of good sleep. If every 3 hours is considered a REM cycle you would have been better to stay up the extra 1/2 hour and gone to sleep at 3 AM. That little extra 1/2 hour actually made you more tired. So you are really tired. You stumble to the kitchen get some coffee. All of a sudden things look just a little better.
You go with your coffee to wake up oh lets say 3 kids. Ages 2, 6, 8. You first go the first room and wake up the 8 year old Tommy. He's cranky because you had to yell at him 4 times to wake him up and get moving. The 6 year old Timmy is next. You go to his room but he is now awake because Tommy's and your yelling woke him up.
So lets catch up. You are angry, your oldest is cranky because you woke him up by yelling and your middle is mad because you and his brother woke him up. Your doing good. You have 3 angry people to contend with.
The 2 year old is up and screaming in her crib because she is hungry. Your spouse hears all of this even though he had to work a 3rd shift and just got home and to sleep. WOW well done. You have succeeded to either anger or frustrate all 5 of you.
However, while you are just thankful everyone that needed to get up did and off to work, school, or day care you go. Your spouse goes back to sleep. You get to work and a few hours later the boss finds out you were 1/2 late and reprimands you. Your desk phone rings. Your oldest and middle sons got into a fight on the play ground at school. They are suspended for 3 days. Phew, you sigh well a least the youngest is OK. Phone rings again it's the day care calling because she is projectile vomiting.You go to your already mad at you boss for being late. You explain the situation and ask if you can leave early to get the kids picked up and go home for the day. He says sure but stop by the personal office on the way out go get your check and don't come back you fired!
WOW, you are fuming now. The entire world is conspiring against you today and everyone around you is in bad moods right? You are just an innocent bystander and victim of everyone else's bad day? WRONG!
You go to pick up the kids get them all loaded up in he back set. All are yelling and fighting, the baby is sick. You are yelling back to them KNOCK IT OFF! You get pulled over for speeding. You get a ticket with a fine and a mandatory court appearance. You get home, kids rush out and by the time you get in with the baby the boys have woke up your spouse again! Now everyone is screaming the police are called by a neighbor for a domestic call. You are arrested and taken to the precinct.
Now, you are standing in a cell but you think, WOW I will get a good nights sleep tonight. No screaming kids, or angry spouse. You settle in for a good nights sleep. However, you can't sleep worrying all night if you will have to serve a year of "good" nights of sleep in the County jail.
You explain all this to the judge the next day. He asks you to think back to what started it. "Well your honor, I was angry at the alarm clock for doing it's job, and go through it all again.
Verdict is read you are released but must attend court appointed anger management classes and submit the completion certificate to the court.
All of this because you chose to allow your anger to control you. Well done.
That my friends is a Tale from the rabbit trail. However, the point is well made. Emotions are just another act of how humans mess up free will. Sometimes it takes a full circle to make the point and a little humor along the way is always a good thing.
So as Bette Midler says in the song Glory of Love:
"This is a song I've been singing for a long time. It's like an old friend. But, you know, I think it, it's only recently that I discovered what it's really about. "You've got to give a little, take a little,and let your poor heart break a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love. You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,until the clouds roll by a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love. As long as there's the two of us,we've got the world and all it's charms . And when the world is through with us, we've got each other's arms. You've got to win a little, lose a little,yes, and always have the blues a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love. That's the story of, that's the glory of love
Amen and good night! Or morning now I guess. Yes, I could not sleep OK.
Take the example it's 6:00 AM the alarm goes off. You are irritated because you could not fall asleep until 2:30 AM. So you have only really gotten 3 hours of good sleep. If every 3 hours is considered a REM cycle you would have been better to stay up the extra 1/2 hour and gone to sleep at 3 AM. That little extra 1/2 hour actually made you more tired. So you are really tired. You stumble to the kitchen get some coffee. All of a sudden things look just a little better.
You go with your coffee to wake up oh lets say 3 kids. Ages 2, 6, 8. You first go the first room and wake up the 8 year old Tommy. He's cranky because you had to yell at him 4 times to wake him up and get moving. The 6 year old Timmy is next. You go to his room but he is now awake because Tommy's and your yelling woke him up.
So lets catch up. You are angry, your oldest is cranky because you woke him up by yelling and your middle is mad because you and his brother woke him up. Your doing good. You have 3 angry people to contend with.
The 2 year old is up and screaming in her crib because she is hungry. Your spouse hears all of this even though he had to work a 3rd shift and just got home and to sleep. WOW well done. You have succeeded to either anger or frustrate all 5 of you.
However, while you are just thankful everyone that needed to get up did and off to work, school, or day care you go. Your spouse goes back to sleep. You get to work and a few hours later the boss finds out you were 1/2 late and reprimands you. Your desk phone rings. Your oldest and middle sons got into a fight on the play ground at school. They are suspended for 3 days. Phew, you sigh well a least the youngest is OK. Phone rings again it's the day care calling because she is projectile vomiting.You go to your already mad at you boss for being late. You explain the situation and ask if you can leave early to get the kids picked up and go home for the day. He says sure but stop by the personal office on the way out go get your check and don't come back you fired!
WOW, you are fuming now. The entire world is conspiring against you today and everyone around you is in bad moods right? You are just an innocent bystander and victim of everyone else's bad day? WRONG!
You go to pick up the kids get them all loaded up in he back set. All are yelling and fighting, the baby is sick. You are yelling back to them KNOCK IT OFF! You get pulled over for speeding. You get a ticket with a fine and a mandatory court appearance. You get home, kids rush out and by the time you get in with the baby the boys have woke up your spouse again! Now everyone is screaming the police are called by a neighbor for a domestic call. You are arrested and taken to the precinct.
Now, you are standing in a cell but you think, WOW I will get a good nights sleep tonight. No screaming kids, or angry spouse. You settle in for a good nights sleep. However, you can't sleep worrying all night if you will have to serve a year of "good" nights of sleep in the County jail.
You explain all this to the judge the next day. He asks you to think back to what started it. "Well your honor, I was angry at the alarm clock for doing it's job, and go through it all again.
Verdict is read you are released but must attend court appointed anger management classes and submit the completion certificate to the court.
All of this because you chose to allow your anger to control you. Well done.
That my friends is a Tale from the rabbit trail. However, the point is well made. Emotions are just another act of how humans mess up free will. Sometimes it takes a full circle to make the point and a little humor along the way is always a good thing.
So as Bette Midler says in the song Glory of Love:
"This is a song I've been singing for a long time. It's like an old friend. But, you know, I think it, it's only recently that I discovered what it's really about. "You've got to give a little, take a little,and let your poor heart break a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love. You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,until the clouds roll by a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love. As long as there's the two of us,we've got the world and all it's charms . And when the world is through with us, we've got each other's arms. You've got to win a little, lose a little,yes, and always have the blues a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love. That's the story of, that's the glory of love
Amen and good night! Or morning now I guess. Yes, I could not sleep OK.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Endures all
Love endures all. We understand it from the grammatical aspect and even the presumed definition that it last forever. Well in the simplest form that is true. What we fail to realize is that love endures through rage, anger, disappointment, grief, all the good times and even the most extreme bad times. Think about it. If you are a parent and your child goes astray or off course to the point your heart breaks, or your are so disappointed or angry, while you may not like the behavior or removal from the home to a place were your child can receive help. However, you always love them but not the behavior.
Well, God does that with us. He loves us through good and bad no matter what. If we ask for forgiveness He is willing to accept it. More importantly, He throws it as far from the East and West as possible, and forgets it. He does not hold grudges like we humans do.
So ideally we are called to do the same. But since were not God we don't do the forgiveness thing as easily as He does. Sometimes we hold on to our anger with both fists clenched tight just so we can find the fuel to go on another day. Eventually lightening strikes us (not physically) and on some level we begin to understand the principal of forgiveness. Which in turn leads us down the path of love.
So no matter what we feel about someone or some circumstances while it is going on or all said and done love endures all.
Well, God does that with us. He loves us through good and bad no matter what. If we ask for forgiveness He is willing to accept it. More importantly, He throws it as far from the East and West as possible, and forgets it. He does not hold grudges like we humans do.
So ideally we are called to do the same. But since were not God we don't do the forgiveness thing as easily as He does. Sometimes we hold on to our anger with both fists clenched tight just so we can find the fuel to go on another day. Eventually lightening strikes us (not physically) and on some level we begin to understand the principal of forgiveness. Which in turn leads us down the path of love.
So no matter what we feel about someone or some circumstances while it is going on or all said and done love endures all.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Love Concurs All
OK folk, this is a revelation I had today. It is a basic principal that we a humans tend to forget.
Some of you know I have been having issues with my older sister. I was thinking about that today when I was in the truck. I finally got it.
The Scripture "Love concurs all" does not mean that circumstances will change, or people will change. What it means is love concurs everything. Our anger, our frustration or grief. What it means is if we choose to love even in difficult circumstance we are doing what the Lord wants us to do. If we choose to love then we are resting in God's arms.
I know for me, my personality is to jump to anger, frustration or hurt. I spend so much energy in those places and any time I get to that sweep spot of Gods love I freak and go the opposite direction. It's out of my comfort zone. But today it was like an overwhelming sence of peace that waved over me. If love is the greatest gift than I believe that during this brief period that we are on this earth is to learn this basic concept. We enter into the world in pure love and I believe we leave it in the same fashion. Which at that point we spend eternity in ultimate love.
We make this precept so diffuicult to learn, and try to find deeper meaning behind it that we miss the actual meaning.
Love concurs all mean that it concurs all those "bad" feelings we hold ourself. Once we embrace the meaning it changes us. Not anyone around us or circumtance. It just changes the way we see things.
This is a longer thoughts process that I encapulated.
God love us. All of us. As we get older we forget that God shows us in small ways everyday He loves us. Simple things. A snowflake landing on your tongue, a beautiful sunrise or sunset, hearing children laugh, or laughing and goofing around with friends to the point that you get a headache. I honestly believe that that we try to find deeper meaning in things in Scripture when in actuality it is simple.
He loves us and shows us this everyday.
I may expand this at a later date but right now this is all I can do.
Some of you know I have been having issues with my older sister. I was thinking about that today when I was in the truck. I finally got it.
The Scripture "Love concurs all" does not mean that circumstances will change, or people will change. What it means is love concurs everything. Our anger, our frustration or grief. What it means is if we choose to love even in difficult circumstance we are doing what the Lord wants us to do. If we choose to love then we are resting in God's arms.
I know for me, my personality is to jump to anger, frustration or hurt. I spend so much energy in those places and any time I get to that sweep spot of Gods love I freak and go the opposite direction. It's out of my comfort zone. But today it was like an overwhelming sence of peace that waved over me. If love is the greatest gift than I believe that during this brief period that we are on this earth is to learn this basic concept. We enter into the world in pure love and I believe we leave it in the same fashion. Which at that point we spend eternity in ultimate love.
We make this precept so diffuicult to learn, and try to find deeper meaning behind it that we miss the actual meaning.
Love concurs all mean that it concurs all those "bad" feelings we hold ourself. Once we embrace the meaning it changes us. Not anyone around us or circumtance. It just changes the way we see things.
This is a longer thoughts process that I encapulated.
God love us. All of us. As we get older we forget that God shows us in small ways everyday He loves us. Simple things. A snowflake landing on your tongue, a beautiful sunrise or sunset, hearing children laugh, or laughing and goofing around with friends to the point that you get a headache. I honestly believe that that we try to find deeper meaning in things in Scripture when in actuality it is simple.
He loves us and shows us this everyday.
I may expand this at a later date but right now this is all I can do.
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